A Brony's Guide to Equestria
by InstantDashie
Summary: Every brony's dream is to one day discover the magical world of Equestria. However, in order to have this dream, what would they be willing to give up? This is basically a self-insert for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Enjoy
1. Prologue

A Brony's Guide to Equestria

Written by TJ A.K.A InstantDashie

Prolouge

Sometimes we are presented with a life-altering choice. No matter what decisions you make, it seems that someone always ends up getting hurt. Guess that's my life in a nutshell. I'm not the smartest guy around... heck I'm probably not even close to that. Life has been pretty good, aside from a few incidents, but I can deal with it. Sometimes it's hard to tell who your friends really are, such is the case with me. There's very few people I could ever really call a FRIEND, and middle school did a great job in showing that. I guess becoming a brony was the high point of my life in retrospect, and I owe it all to Gary, now HE is someone I can call a friend. Ever since I started watching that show, my life has gotten a little better. Everything about it is just so entertaining and makes me want to laugh. Only problem is that some of my other friends aren't quite used to having a brony around. Especially at my house-warming party.

"Okay dude, something is definitely wrong with you if you think that abomination of a T.V. show is entertaining in any way!" Connor yelled in my face. Connor and I had been friends since 5th grade, and we ve had our share of arguments in the past, but none of them could compare to this. Let me get something straight about Connor. Within the 4 years I ve known him, I ve learned that he can be a bit too stubborn for his own good. He was the first one to find out about my new... well... he used the term obsession .

"Oh get over it, it's not like the world is going to end or anything," I replied sarcastically. If anything was going to end, it would most likely be his entire perspective of reality. But I had to face facts. He had his likes, I had my likes, and nothing could really change that. But, I figured it couldn't hurt to try and change his mind one last time. "I'll try and put this into terms you can understand. You've told me a thousand times in the past that you can't judge anything until you actually see it for yourself. And now your hating on me for something you haven't even seen. Sounds pretty hypocritical if you ask me."

Our argument got pretty large, and fortunately for me, Ollie stepped in. Ollie was a nice guy. He helped me out a few times in the past, but he did have some occasional moments where he became an oddball for no apparent reason. Thankfully, this was not one of those moments.

"Woah, lay off man! If he wants to watch a little girls show, let him!"

I wanted to punch him in the face so hard right then. I think he got the hint, because he quickly shut up and we got back to some fun. Two minutes later, my doorbell rang. This didn t strike me as odd, it was a party, more guests were welcome at anytime. Unfortunately, I was a gullible little fool. I opened the door just to be greeted with a pie to the face. I know what you're probably thinking right now: ha ha pie in the face its so funny! This wasn t funny, my eyes were burning and I could barely breathe through all that whipped cream in my face. The only I could really use right now was my ears, and I didn't like what they were picking up. All I could make out was the laughter of what sounded like a 20 year-old man, whom I was pretty sure I didn t know

"Consider it a house-warming gift, as in move out of this town if you know what s good for you! Later dweeb!" I could hear him yelling.

After washing my face off, I couldn't stand anymore company, even though it felt bad to do so, I had to send everyone home early. As soon as they all left, I bolted up-stairs to my room and put on the T.V. I did what every other brony would do: put on the one show that could actually make me smile. Just seeing the happy faces of those characters was enough to take my mind off of what had happened earlier. Just as the end credits were rolling a rock came crashing through my window, missing my face by near inches. It had a note attached to it. I sighed, switched off the T.V. and picked up the note, avoiding the shards of glass still surrounding it.

_ You ve got 3 days to leave, enjoy them ._

I crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash bin. I'd normally respond, but I realized long ago that it was all a lost cause. I stared at the T.V. once again. That s when I came to the sad realization. This world was full of nothing but despair, nothing but people hating me. I felt a single tear run down my left cheek. But, that world in the show, Equestria, it all seemed so happy, full of love and friends, where nothing bad ever happens to anyone.

"Man, if I was given a chance to live there instead of this torture pit, I'd accept in a heartbeat. But it's not like that could ever happen. If only... what am I saying? It's impossible!"

I couldn t take anymore heartbreak and just collapsed on the bed, ready to welcome any dream that would appear in my mind. Anything beat reality at this point. Just then the T.V. flashed on with a jolt. That got my attention. I stared at it bewildered. I know I didn't turn it on. I suddenly heard a voice coming from it, a soothing female voice that was all too familiar to me. But no, that was impossible. She's from a cartoon; she couldn't possibly be talking to me. But, I couldn't help but listen some more to what the voice had to say.

"If you wish to escape your reality, your wish may as well be granted."

She didn't need to tell me twice. I quickly launched myself out of the bed and up to the T.V. Something was different about it though. The screen began to spin, creating what looked like a vortex. I was sure I was dreaming. I wanted to go back to bed and wake up but something was drawing me closer. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but I stuck my head into the spiraling screen. Smart, huh? Then the unexplainable happened. I fell in. I actually fell inside the television screen. From there, all I saw was white. I fell for what may have been hours. The only thing I knew was that something strange was about to happen. I didn t know what it was, but I had a strange sense of familiarity. Instantly I felt my stomach lurch and I blacked out.

When I finally regained consciousness I was lying on what appeared to be cartoon grass. I had to be dreaming. What was I thinking? Cartoon grass? Good one brain, way to surprise me. I tried standing up, but everything in my body felt... different in some way. I looked around to see if I was still alright.

"Ok, let's see here... legs... body... hooves..."

Wait a minute... HOOVES?

I thought I was going crazy. I kept looking around to see what else was different about me.

"Tail? Mane? What kind of crazy dream is this?"

That's when it hit me... I wasn't a human anymore... I was a pony. A cartoon pony. I also happened to notice I had some wings on my back as well. Great. Not only was I a pony, but I was a pegasus. The more I thought about it, the more familiar this place seemed to me. The trees, the grass, even the plants had been seen by me at some point in the past. Soon I figured it out, though due to overwhelming brony excitement, I had a little trouble controlling my emotions. I knew exactly where I was. My wish had come true.

I was in **Equestria**.


	2. Chapter 1: The New Colt in Town

A/N: I am well aware of the errors in the prologue. I've attempted to fix them but I have not succeeded. I can assure you though that this will not happen again. Oh yea... I also make a reference to another Fan-fic in this chapter. Try and find it.  
>~InstantDashie A Brony's Guide to Equestria<p>

~Chapter 1: The New Colt in Town

Written by TJ AKA InstantDashie

So far, the only things going through my head at this point were questions. How did I get here? Why was I here? Why was I a pegasus? The only time I'd ever heard of people going to Equestria was in fan-fiction, but in that story they were still humans upon arrival. Considering I never had never really seen much of the Everfree Forest before, I was pretty lost. Fortunately, I found what looked like an exit within a few minutes. Was it really a few minutes? I'm pretty sure time is different here, so for all I knew it could have been days before I got out of that place. When I actually DID get out of there, my heart skipped a few beats.

There it was, Ponyville. The place I had always dreamed of going to. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was even more beautiful up close. Before I completely lost it, I decided to take a walk around the town and see the sights. All the other ponies kept giving me these weird looks as I trotted by, which didn't really surprise me. After all, I was a complete stranger. Though I had already seen most of this place in the show, I had to admit... it was huge! I just wish someone would at least notice me or something. At least then I wouldn't feel so out of place. When somepony DID actually come to greet me, I had to fight my hardest not to be overrun with excitement. Best part, it was the one pony I was hoping to see: Rainbow Dash. Being me... I probably would have fainted right then... or at least bowed down to her like an idiot, but I did my best to play it cool.

"Hey, haven't seen you around here before... you new?" She asked, looking me dead in the eyes. True, that was kind of creepy, but she's my favorite character, I had to say something.

"Uh... sort of... I mean... I know where I am and all... but... I am just really lost right now. Does that make any sense"? I asked her. I felt really stupid right then. I wouldn't have been able to blame her if she flew away just now. Thankfully, she was not that kind of person... or at least not right now.

"Not really... need some help finding your way around?"

I laughed. If only she knew...

"That actually sounds really awesome. So... where are we going first?"

"I thought you said you knew where you were?"

"Yeah, I didn't say I knew where everything was!"

At this point she was on the ground laughing. I'll admit, I was pretty entertained myself. After about 5 more minutes of playful banter, she stood up and calmed down.

"Ok, how about we start off with the library? Twilight might be there, and she may be able to help you out some more. That sound good?"

If this was a dream, I prayed I would never wake up from it.

"Perfect," I replied, smiling like an absolute idiot. I think she noticed my over-enthusiasm, granted the slight giggle she let out before speeding away.

All I could really do was stare off into the distance with a dumbfounded expression on my face. It's official, I'm in heaven. Eventually, she came back, probably noticing I wasn't following her.

"Uh... you know how to fly right?" she asked, staring at me. All I could do was tell her the honest truth.

"Well, considering I've only been a pegasus for about an hour... nope."  
>Now she just looked annoyed.<p>

"Oh yeah? Then what were you before that?" She inquired, her face roughly two inches away from mine. I couldn't lie to that, but I wasn't sure what would happen if she learned that knowledge.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Probably wasn't wise of me to think that would stop her. Instantly she was directly in front of me, her eyes locked on mine with a look of determination I knew all too well.

"Try me," she said.

Well, here goes nothing.

"A human," I told her, keeping a perfectly straight face. I wasn't sure how she would respond, but judging from the lack of humans in Equestria, I had a pretty good idea. However, the exact opposite happened. Instead of the whole denial act I was expecting, I found myself being tackled by her and pinned to the ground, having numerous questions flung at me.

"A human? You're serious? Are there more of you? Did Jake and Brady come back with you?"

Ok, now I had about 50 questions to answer. Not how I pictured my first day... but I'll work with it.

"Uh... I'm dead serious. I'm the only one here. I don't even know who Jake and Brady are... I mean... I've heard of them but I don't know them personally. Sorry," I told her. Ok, apparently "Tale of Two Bronies" was non-fiction. Good to know.

"Oh... alright, sorry for tackling you and all..." She said, slowly climbing off of me. Her expression turned to one of sadness and longing. I couldn't bear to see her this way. I had to say something to cheer her up... I mean... she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Hey... if it's any consolation... I'm sure wherever they are right now, they're thinking about you guys," I reassured the cyan pegasus. Ok, so maybe I'm not all that good with moral support, but as long as it works, I'm satisfied. She gave me a slight smile, which I took as a good sign.

"Thanks... I think I feel better now. You know, you actually remind me a little of Jake," She said, with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I said, slightly blushing, "Name's TJ, by the way."

We quickly shared a quick bro-hoof and with that we took off into the sky. Two seconds later she was staring at me with amazement. "I thought you said you didn't know how to fly!"

Even I was confused about it. "Apparently I'm a fast learner!"

She quickly gave me another smile.

"Heh, Your'e pretty funny TJ! How about we race to library then?"

I just stared at her.

"I thought you were showing me how to GET to the library!"

I don't think she heard me, since by the time I was done with that sentence, she was about 20 feat ahead of me, and quickly gaining distance.

"Oh it's ON!"

So far, this was the greatest day of my life, and I knew this was only the beginning.


	3. Chapter 2: Luna's Lament

A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter is much shorter than the others. I kind of had to rush to get it done, plus I wanted to end it on kind of an emotional note. I hope you enjoy the next chapter of my fan-fic, expect the production rate to increase at some point in the future.

~InstantDashie

A Brony's Guide to Equestria

Written by TJ AKA InstantDashie

Chapter 2: Luna's Lament

Celestia stared down at the rest of the world from her quarters in Canterlot, her eyes seeming to be fixed on one particular pony, me. She was not happy, in fact, she seemed heart-broken for some reason. The princess quickly turned away, shaking her head in dismay. As me and Rainbow Dash flew by, I got a quick glimpse of her. I don't know why she looked so troubled. I pushed the thought out of my head, I still had some ponies to meet, and places to see. Just then, Celestia noticed a wisp of grayish-purple fog slowly crawl in through the window.

"I've been waiting for you, sister," she said, not turning around.

Instantly the fog transfigured itself into another Allicorn pony, Luna, the princess of the night.

"You wanted to see me for something?" she inquired, anxiously.

Celestia continued to stare at the door.

"I see you've brought another human into our world," the princess asked, with a voice of extreme anger.

"Well, yes but..."

"And you remember what happened last time humans arrived here?"

Luna took a minute to think.

"Yes. The gate was only open for a short period of time and we were forced to send them back home," she answered.

"Then I believe you're aware of the vast amount of heartbreak that took place as they returned home?"

"Yes."

Celestia finally turned to face her sister, wearing an expression of concern.

"Then I ask you this, sister. Why? Why would you bring another one here to suffer the same fate?"

Luna could only feel regret, and was forced to tell her sister what had happened.

"This particular human... he was mistreated by the others. He begged to be sent here. What action was I expected to take?" She retorted, her eyes glowing with frustration. Luna probably knew how I felt more than any other pony in Equestria. She knew what it was like to be an outcast. The time she came back on Nightmare Night to gain the other ponies trust. "You know very well that I went through the same torture as he did, sister!"

Celestia was shocked at her sister's sudden change in tone. She remembered the pain that Luna had felt that night.  
>"I understand what you were trying to do, Luna. But I'm afraid that eventually, he will be forced to choose between his world, and ours," She sighed.<p>

"Just give him a few days, sister. That's all I ask!" Luna stammered, her face contorting in sadness.

"Celestia couldn't take it anymore.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do."

Luna gave a thankful nod and turned back towards the window. Before she could step outside though, she paused in a moment of doubt.

"Sister?" She called out.

Celestia turned her head around to catch one more glimpse of her.

"Yes?"

"Do you think that what we're doing is right?"

Celestia took a brief moment to answer her sister's question.

"I don't know, Luna," she sighed, "I just don't know anymore."


	4. Chapter 3: A True Ponyville Welcome

A/N: Good news everyone! I managed to fix the prologue! sorry it took so long ~ InstantDashie

A Brony's Guide to Equestria

Written by TJ AKA InstantDashie

~Chapter 3: A True Ponyville Welcome

"How... how long have you been standing there?" I panted, as I approached the library. Though it couldn't have been more obvious, I lost the race. Dashie had pulled ahead of me about halfway through and I lost sight of her. I'm not exactly proud of my racing "skills" so far.

"About 5 minutes, what took you so long?" She asked, very confused.

"Uh... I got lost," I said, ready to pass out on the ground. I found myself face first in the dirt without even realizing what had just happened. She just laughed.

"You know, if you're too wiped out, we can come back and see Twilight another day if you want," She said, mockingly. I quickly jumped up to my feet, still slightly winded.

"No no, I'm good! Let's go inside!"

That definitely got her attention.

"Well, if you insist..." She said, slowly opening the door. I couldn't believe it, I was actually gonna meet the rest of the Mane six. My heart was beating so fast I felt like I was gonna explode! I took two steps forward... and then got wind knocked out of me by what looked like a charging pink blur. Before I could figure out what the heck had just happened, I found myself lying on my back, on the ground, staring into the eyes of another familiar face.

"Hey! I'll bet you're the other hoo-mahn that showed up! This'll be so exciting!" She giggled.

I couldn't really say anything, not just because she had one of her fore-legs digging into my rib-cage, but because it's not everyday this happens to me, and so far, aside from all the tackling, I was having the time of my life. I shot Dashie a quick glance and noticed her laughing her head off.

"Pinkie, meet TJ," She said between giggles, "and I don't think he likes being stuck to the ground."

The party pony immediately shot into the air, landing a few feet away from me. In hopes of no longer looking like an absolute idiot, I tried talking to her.

"Uh... hello?" I said, hesitantly. Instead of the usual worded response I expected, I found one of my front legs being shaken at unnatural speeds. I honestly thought she was gonna rip it off. Man, she was WAY too over ecstatic.

"Darn pleased to meet ya! Name's Pinkie Pie! You're gonna love it here with us! It'll be so awesome!" She shouted, still laughing. By the time she was done, I was disoriented beyond belief.

"Rainbow Dash, please promise me that's the last time somepony's gonna tackle me," I said, ready to fall over. I could still hear her laughing.

"Sure... no worries, how about we actually go INSIDE now?" she asked, shaking her head.

I'll be completely honest, Twilight's library is WAY bigger than it looks. Picture what you see on the outside, and then multiply that by 10. I was amazed no one had ever gotten lost in here. From my perspective, all I saw was a labyrinth of books.

"Twiiiiilight! Our new hoo-mahn friend is here!" Pinkie yelled. Of course, my whole labyrinth theory was proven even more correct by the fact that her voice echoed for like ten more seconds before we actually heard silence. We had to wait a little while before we got any response.

"Pinkie, it's pronounced 'human'. I though we already went over this!" shouted a voice from what sounded like everywhere at once. I spent a good portion of the next 5 seconds looking in circles just to find the source. Before I actually collapsed in dizziness, she finally revealed herself, Twilight, a purple unicorn. I was happy before, but now I was about ready to cry. I think Dashie noticed, cause she gave me a quick nudge. "You must be TJ," Twilight said, smiling.

I only stared in amazement. "H-how did you know I was...?"

I instantly got a piece of parchment levitated in my face. I recognized who it was from pretty quickly.

My faithful student,  
>You may find it interesting to know that another human has been brought into our world. His name is TJ. It would help him if you made his days here in Equestria as welcoming as you possibly can.<br>~Celestia

I had to smile at that. "Heh, leave it to a princess to make a guy feel welcome," I laughed. The rest of them smiled at me as well, and it felt good. "So... where's everyone else?" I asked, kind of confused. I at least half expected more ponies to be here, granted That seemed to be where they were the majority of the time in the show.

"Don't worry about it, I already told them you'd be here. They should be arriving right about now," Twilight said, smiling. As soon as she finished the sentence, the door behind me pretty much exploded. All I could really do was stare, dumbfounded, as three more ponies stepped into the building. They were all pretty familiar. An orange workhorse, a yellow pegasus, and a white unicorn.  
>"Howdy Y'all! Sorry we're late! Somepony just had to take an extra 20 minutes just to get her mane done!" Applejack said, shooting Rarity an annoyed glance. Rarity looked about equally as annoyed, and knowing her, it was probably going to last for a while.<p>

"Well excuse me for wanting to look at least somewhat presentable for our guest!" she huffed, "you should try it sometime, Applejack!"

"Them's fightin' words!" The workhorse retorted, glaring at Rarity. I was just plain confused. I knew they fought once or twice in the show, but this was just ridiculous! I turned to Twilight wearing an expression of concern.

"Is this like a typical day for these two?" I asked, slightly worried that one of them was gonna start throwing punches at the other or... whatever ponies are supposed to throw at each other in a fight. Twilight simply shook her head in disbelief.

"Not really," she explained, "this is only the second fight they've had this month."

"This month?" I exclaimed, "you mean they've done this before? I mean, like every month?"

Twilight just nodded her head and frowned. "Yeah, it's a pretty vicious cycle. They'll fight, forgive each other after a while, and then get right back to fighting."

I face hoofed (I have no idea why that didn't hurt me, I mean come on! It's a hoof!). Apparently, there's more to Equestria than they actually show on the show (heh, repetition). Well, you learn something new everyday.

"Hold on a second, how are you already a pegasus? Last time humans came here, they had to drink a potion to achieve their pony forms," Twilight asked, looking very puzzled. I looked around the room to see 5 other faces staring at me with the same confused expressions on their muzzles (yep, apparently something THAT simple stopped AJ's and Rarity's fighting).

"That's actually what I wanted to ask you," I said, equally as confused.

"And if I remember correctly, the only way they got here was when Pinkie stumbled upon that barrier, (epic fourth wall breakage FTW!), and brought Jake and Brady back through with her. So, if Pinkie didn't get you here that way, then how DID you get here exactly?" Twilight inquired.

"To be honest, I actually have no idea how I got here. All I remember is hearing a voice come out of the television, (Jake and Brady already explained what that was to them, I wasn't going to go through THAT whole thing again. Heck I don't even know the exact definition of a TV!), I walked up to it, stuck my head in like this," I explained sticking my head slowly out the window. "And then I fell through it like THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS!" I screamed as I fell. Wow, smooth move TJ. I hit the ground with a thud. (Hey wait a minute, I fell out of a first floor window and it actually hurt? EQUESTRIA! Y U NO MAKE SENSE?) I looked up to find everypony slowly walking out of the library to where I was, laughing hysterically.

"So yeah, then I woke up in the Everfree forest as a pegasus," I said, keeping my cool. Just then I noticed a familiar yellow pegasus slowly walking up to me (squee!)

"Are you ok? You didn't hurt yourself did you?" Fluttershy asked, staring at me with those adorable eyes of hers (I CAN'T TAKE ALL THE HNNNGGH ANYMORE!)

I shot up off the ground faster than a Sonic Rainboom (You jealous, Dashie?).

"Yes! Don't worry about me Fluttershy! I'm fine! Thanks for asking though!" I said, smiling. She smiled back to me, and of course like an idiot I squeed for the for a second time. Yep, life was gonna be great here. I just knew it.


	5. Chapter 4: Fear and Confessions

A/N: Considering my immense lack of ideas at the moment, I've decided to let you guys help with with this work of mine. I wanna include a special appearance by a certain famous character from another fan-fic. A poll will be up on my profile for your votes and the winner will be shown in the next exciting chapter of A Brony's Guide to Equestria!

~ Instant Dashie

A Brony's Guide to Equestria

Chapter 4: Fear and Confessions

Written by TJ AKA Instant Dashie

IMPORTANT: This chapter is kind of personal, and was written while I was going through kind of a tough time. If you are not a fan of emotional, personal stuff, then don't bother reading this chapter.

~The Next Day...  
>All I could see was darkness... plain... pitch black... you know the drill. It was endless as far as I could tell. I spent the majority of the next few hours walking forward, thinking that I would actually reach the end of this tunnel sooner or later. According to most people, I'm a naive fool. I do things without thinking and I don't even understand what the heck I'd just done until someone can shed some light on the subject for me. An explanation would be pretty darn helpful right now, considering this was all new to me and whatnot. Instantly there was a flash and I saw a few figures standing in the distance, my heart stopping upon seeing them. I recognized them instantly: my family. My mom, my dad, all of them were just standing there smiling, holding out their hands and inviting me to come join them. However, for every step I took, they seemed to get farther and farther away. I broke into a sprint, tears starting to build in my eyes, longing just to feel my mother's touch once again.<p>

I should have known it was all a lost cause. I felt something grab my shoulder and pull me back. I turned my head to gaze into the glowing red eyes of a demon. I'll just assume that you all have your own ideas of what a demon looks like, so I'll just skip the physical description. The moment I opened my mouth to scream, its claws were digging into my forearm, tearing through bone and burning all muscle tissue on contact. The intense pain was unbearable. I howled in agony before my arm was completely severed from the rest of my body. Everything started to slow down right then, the only audible sound being the own rapid-fire beating of my heart, the only sight being the demon's hand reaching out to me, ready to tear me in half. I locked my eyes shut and grimaced, ready to accept my fate, when all of a sudden I felt myself being shaken like a rag-doll. All the noise started to die away, as well as the pain in my severed arm.

I opened my eyes to see Applejack shaking me awake, a look of horror on her face. Upon noticing the fact that I was now awake, she quickly stopped.

"Ya'll right there, sugarcube? You was screamin' all night!" She asked, giving me a comforting hug. I looked down at my foreleg, which was no longer separated entirely from the rest of my body..

"Yeah, I... I just had a nightmare... that's all," I told her, wiping off my face with my hoof. I took note of the fact that my face was wet. Apparently, I had also been crying. Applejack let out a sigh.

"That must have been one heckuva nightmare," she said, frowning, "what exactly happened?"

I almost broke down crying at that point. I think she noticed, because she put a comforting hoof on my shoulder right at the start.

"I was my human self and I... I saw my family," I started, holding back tears, "and they were holding out their hands...inviting me to be with them... and then..." I stopped, finding myself unable to continue, and just immediately lost what little amount of self control I had left at that point. Applejack gave me another hug; this one lasting longer than the previous one.

"Well, at least it's over now," she reassured me. I quickly wiped some more tears out of my eyes and got off the bed, trotting over to the window to let the sun shine down on my light brown fur, though I was still shaking in what I assumed was just fear of my nightmare.

"Applejack?" I asked, looking back at her.

The orange mare's ears perked up as she turned her head towards me.

"Hm?"

"Do you... do you ever miss your parents?" I asked, still shaking. It was kind of a personal question, maybe a little too personal for me to ask at the moment but, I wanted to have the security of knowing that I wasn't alone here. Applejack gave another sigh and then walked up next to me, staring out the window at the rising sun.

"Well, course I miss em'! Not a day has gone by where I haven't been thinkin' bout my parents," She began, keeping her eyes glued to a singular location outside,"But I've learned from experience that I can't dwell on the past. Their gone now, but that doesn't mean I have mope about it all the time."

That's when I realized what she was actually looking at, not the sun at all, but her parents' grave stones, each one encircled by flowers. I could relate to that. My uncle died when I was little and I felt like my whole world was coming to an end. Now that I had been separated from the rest of my family, it felt like I was having a relapse. I chose not to focus on the thought though, Applejack was right, I couldn't focus on the fact that my family wasn't around me anymore, that was then, and this is now, and as far as I know, crying won't solve anything.

"Now it's my turn to ask you something," she said, now turning her head to face mine, smiling.

"Sure, ask me anything," I replied with a smirk. When someone (or in this case, somepony) else smiles, I can't help but smile back.

"Out of everyone who offered you a place to stay, why did you pick Sweet Apple Acres?" Applejack asked, giving me a puzzled look,"Being as yer a pegasus and all, I'd assume you'd wanna live up in Cloudsdale or somethin.'"

I closed my eyes, reminiscing of all the good times I had had with my family.

"Well, my parents used to always take me to go apple-picking every fall," I began,"and I've always considered myself to be a country boy at heart, so to me, this place is just like home."

Suddenly, dark clouds formed overhead as a strong gale wind began to blow, nearly knocking me off the ground and into a wall, had I been any lighter in weight. Quickly several rainbow colored apples began to sprout upon the trees instantaneously, each one about the same size and appearing to be ripe. I looked over to Applejack, whose eyes were glowing with excitement.

"Hope you're ready to get to work"

"Why?"

In all honestly, it was a rhetorical question. I knew exactly what she was going to say next.

"It's Zap-apple season!" 


	6. Chapter 5: Things Start Happening

A/N: Ok, sadly, only two people actually voted in the poll (Thank you legionbrony and whoever the second person was). Because of this, I just went with the one OC that actually got any votes. You'll know him when you see him! Thanks for your patience and enjoy the chapter!  
>~InstantDashie<p>A Brony's Guide to Equestria<p>

Written by TJ AKA InstantDashie

Chapter 5: Things Start Happening

"A scattered memory like a far-off dream. A far-off dream like a scattered memory. I want to line the pieces up, yours and mine." -excerpt from Kingdom Hearts 2 -

You know that feeling you get when you're taking on the adventure of your life? Take that feeling and multiply it by ten. That's pretty much how I was feeling at this point. I knew exactly what I was doing, that's no lie, but being as I was in a pony body now, I wasn't exactly confident in my usefulness. Zap-apple season was a huge deal for Applejack's family, and I didn't want to let her down. She led me up to the nearest tree, a relatively thick one.

"Now, this should be real easy for you , seeing as you've been doing this your whole life," Applejack said, giving me a warm smile. I blushed... no, not THAT kind of blush! Get all those shipping ideas out of your head right now!

"Uh, I said I went apple-PICKING, not apple-BUCKING," I replied, staring at the ground in embarrassment. AJ just laughed. I slowly turned my head back upward towards the tree, admiring the titanic fruit hanging from its branches. I'd never seen the zap-apples this close before, granted I had only seen them through a television screen but that's besides the point, and I couldn't help but wonder how big of a fortune the Apple family was going to make selling these.

"Well, I could give ya a demonstration if ya want," the mare quipped, the unmistakable tone of pride flowing throughout her voice.

"That would actually be really awesome, I get to see the ever-so-famous Applejack do some apple-bucking in person (pony). Man, Joe would be sooo jealous of me right now," I declared, sitting down on the grass.

"Am I really that big of a celebrity back where yer from?" she asked, wearing an expression of both confusion and curiosity. I let out a slight laugh.

"You wouldn't believe how many people back home love you."

AJ let out a small sigh and looked off into the distance for a few seconds. I honestly don't know why, but I assumed she figured she was being watched by the rest of us bronies.

"Well, that's nice. How's about we get to apple-bucking now?"

"Fine by me."

The orange mare stepped a bit closer to the tree and then about faced, taking a few more steps back.

"Well, apple-buckin's pretty easy once you get the hang of it," she explained,"but it can be a little challenging at the start." Applejack soon began a demonstration. "Line yerself up with the tree and plant your hooves firmly on the ground," the mare began, adjusting her hooves like so,"then just let the magic happen."

Ok, that was the shortest and most vague description of apple-bucking I have ever heard in my lifetime. I won't complain though, me and lengthy speeches do NOT mix. AJ quickly smashed into the tree with her hind legs, causing a mini-quake in the process. I found myself being violently shaken and knocked onto my back. I noticed quite a few zap-apples drop into the basket behind Aj as he crossed her fore-legs and leaned to one side in that proud fashion as she normally did a lot on the show. The mare looked down at me let out a slight giggle.

"Whoops, I guess I may have overdid that one a bit... heh heh"

I slowly pushed myself back into a standing position, my eyes spinning in opposite directions (4 lol) as I tried to keep my balance, but to no avail.

"Uh, little help here?" I asked, still struggling to stand up.

What transpired over the next few hours was probably one of the most enjoyable times of my life. AJ was right, apple-bucking WAS in fact pretty easy. If I had actually been counting all the zap-apples we knocked out of those gargantuan trees, (which believe me, is an impossible feat) I probably would have estimated a total of about 500 zap-apples... minus the 5 we ate as a snack on our break. Words cannot describe how amazing this divine fruit tastes. If I were to write the exact flavor and whatnot word for word in this journal, your computer would explode due to the sheer awesomeness of that fruit. Ok, I'm getting off topic now, where was I? Oh yeah...

After a while, I pretty much blacked out without even knowing it. Next thing I knew, I woke up wearing AJ's hat, and was feeling pretty disoriented.

"Uh... what happened?" I asked, my voice cracking. Realizing what just happened, I decided to do what I normally do in this sort of situation: add humor! "Puberty, ye be a cruel mistress!"

That managed to get a laugh out of AJ, who up until now, I didn't notice was only standing a few feet away from me.

"My memory's not the best... but can you give me a recap of what happened over the course of the previous few hours?" I asked, tossing her hat in her general direction.

AJ merely gave a shrug as she caught the hat perfectly on her head.

"First time havin' zap-apples?" she asked.

I nodded.

The mare smiled and shut her eyes.

"Yep, they'll have that effect on ya the first few tastes, but don't worry. Ya get used to it after a while."

I stared in disbelief. So... basically, I got drunk on zap-apples... if it's actually POSSIBLE to get drunk on a fruit. You know what, I'm not gonna question it. If I did, this fic would be nothing BUT questions!

"HEY GUYS!"

AJ and I turned our heads to the source of the sound, even though I knew full well who it was. Twilight was running over in our general direction, only she wasn't alone. Aside from Spike, who was always with her, there was another stallion next to her... and a huge one at that. He had an ash-grey coat of fur, as well as an orange mane and tail with a gradient effect that mixed it with blue... wait a minute... ash-grey... orange...

"I'm, guessing you're Firewall?" I asked, playing it cool. Normally, I'd be bowing at his feet (or hooves) considering how awesome he was, but I figured that was more likely to creep him out than flatter him. Firewall had been smoking a cigarette at the time and quickly gave me a puzzled look.

"Don't think I've ever seen you on the show before, how do you know my name exactly?" he asked, somehow not dropping the lit cigarette. Twilight gave me an equally confused expression.

"Yeah, how do you know his name? I've never introduced you to each other in the past or..."

"Let me guess," Firewall said, cutting her off, "You're a brony too?"

I shrugged.

"That much should have been obvious, man," I stated calmly, "I mean, how else would I know your name?"

Firewall let out a small chuckle.

"heh, touche"

The next few minutes were spent chatting and explaining both our stories to everyone. To be honest, I was actually bored out of my mind. Fortunately, the long conversation was drawn to a close when there was a huge thud coming from the other side of the barn. I don't know how the heck this happened, but apparently I was the one who was volunteered to go check it out. When I actually saw what, or who, crashed into the barn... well... how would you react to seeing Derpy Hooves in person (pony)? The grey mailmare was sitting on the ground, several letters scattered on the grass beside her as she struggled to stand up. When she regained her balance, her face was crimson beyond belief.

"Oops! My bad," she said, slightly giggling. I think that was when she noticed me standing there, but I couldn't be too sure, because her lazy eye was staring at me the whole time.

"Oh! sorry mister, I didn't see you there!"

I chuckled, fighting to control my inner fanboy-ism... you know... if that's even a word.

"It's no problem, Derpy, but for future reference...the mailbox is out front," I said, pointing a hoof towards the front of the house.

Derpy simply looked flustered.

"H-how did you know my name, mister..."

"TJ," I answered, "and it's kind of a long story"

Suddenly Derpy's face lit up.

"You're TJ?"

I stared at her in disbelief.

"That what I just said, right?"  
>Derpy began rummaging through her bag until she managed to pull out one letter in particular.<p>

"There's a letter for you from the princess!" the mare said, holding the letter out to me.

I thanked her kindly and headed back towards the rest of the group.

"So, what was all that about?" Firewall asked, still smoking the same cigarette as before. i seriously don't know how he does it.

I began to examine the letters contents, and I read it to myself.

Dear TJ,  
>I trust that you have been enjoying your stay in Equestria so far. Apparently, word of your presence has sparked the interest of my niece, Princess Cadence. She has been fascinated with humans ever since she heard of your arrival. She will be getting married tomorrow, and I feel that it would only be fair for her to meet you. ~Princess Celestia<p>

I stared at the letter in disbelief for a few more minutes. The princess wanted ME to come see her? How often does THAT even happen?  
>"Uh... still waiting on an answer to my question"<p>

I turned my head back up to the rest of the group and smiled.

"Looks like I'm heading to Canterlot today"

A/N: Okay, for future reference, this fic takes place BEFORE the Royal Wedding. Also, my birthday's coming up on the 27th, so... Yea big day. Thanks for the support and be sure to leave some reviews! 


	7. Chapter 6: They See Me Trollin'

A/N: Had to get a jump start on this one guys! With my 15th birthday slowly fading into the distance and summer on the horizon, I can get back to work. Now that I'm finally getting some free time, let's sit back, relax, and enjoy a new humorous chapter!  
>~InstantDashie<p>

A Brony's Guide to Equestria

Chapter 6: They See Me Trollin'...

Written by TJ AKA InstantDashie

Now that I take some more time to reflect, I realize that there were many things I probably should have done, but I didn't do. For example, I probably should have told Twilight why she had to get me a method of transportation to Canterlot instead of keeping it a secret from her. I had my reasons though. I mean, in every movie I've seen, if the protagonist is requested for a meeting with an important regal figure, he/she can't tell anyone about it or else the man shall be struck down where he stands by some secret service or something like that. I don't know, I was asleep for half of the movie. Where was I? Oh yeah, Canterlot. I've seen some beautiful cities in my day, (and by that I mean I've only been to two different cities in my day) but this one takes the cake, actually scratch that, it takes the cake, devours it, and then regurgitates it in the form of a divine god... and in case you couldn't tell, that's pretty darn awesome. As soon as the flying chariot, courtesy of Twilight, touched down on the ground, I was greeted by the princess herself, Princess Celestia. And, as usual, I bowed down to her, only this time it was for a more practical reason. Although, my participation in these formalities seemed to simply amuse her rather than flatter her. In fact, I could have sworn I heard a giggle.

"Don't worry, you don't have to do that," the allicorn stated, sounding like she was still holding back a laugh.

I face-hoofed at that very moment. How could I have been so stupid. I have a watched an adequate amount of the episodic extravaganza that is MLP:FIM, and that was enough for me to remember that Celestia may have been a princess, but she didn't really like to partake in formalities such as these.

"Oh, right," I replied, my face beginning to fade into a shade of crimson, "So, I'm supposed to meet your niece, right?"

Celestia closed her eyes. and took on a calm expression. Oh... and thank God she finally stopped giggling!

"Yes, her living quarters are up on the top floor of that castle over there," Celestia began, pointing a hoof towards a golden castle a little towards the west.

My mouth hung agape as I stared at the structure in awe. It was beautiful, huge, had several designs etched into each and every individual brick creating a huge mural depicting events of Equestria's past, huge, had a large purple pointed spire that had the symbol of a sun on the side, and did I mention it was HUGE! I'm talking Empire State Building huge! If I have ever seen a bigger building in my life, I no longer remember it. Actually, come to think of it, I can't really remember much of what happened to me before I was whisked away to Equestria in the most cartoony and cliche fashion I had ever thought possible.

I shook my head frantically and snapped out my trance. So I couldn't really remember much of what happened, big deal. I have friends here... right? Now I just have to climb... all... those... stairs.

"Don't worry, I'll have my guards notify her that you'll be arriving shortly," Celestia stated with a smile.

I wanted to protest, but before I could open my mouth, the princess had teleported away in a bright flash of light.

"Great... just great..." I spat.

Ok, now all I had to do was start climbing. It was pretty easy at first, your average stair scenario. After what seemed like 5 hours, I was about ready to pass out. I was so stressed I even started talking to myself.

"Oh God... so many stairs! I just wanna find the guy who invented the stairs... and push him down _these_ stairs... just to show him how stupid the stairs are! Then his leg will be broken, and he will no longer be able to climb the stairs! It will be ironic, and then his wife will leave him for the man who invented the elevator... because everyone knows elevators are much more efficient than stairs! And I'm not even close to the top... GOD WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STAIRS?"

I'll spare you guys the embarrassment of witnessing the rest of my rant as I climb these demonic stairs and skip straight to the top. So... I made it to the top of the stairs just like that. I rant and then poof! Instant top of the stairs. Yep, that'll be totally believable.

I turned my head up to see the Princess herself staring down at me.

"Wha... how did you..?"

"Uh, we have an elevator."

DARN YOU IRONY!

"Uh... so which door was to your niece's room?" I asked, finally managing to stand straight up.

Celestia pointed a hoof to a door a little ways down the hall.

"She's right in there. I'm sure she'll be delighted to see you.

I took that as my cue and moved towards the door, trembling slightly. If Celestia was a princess, then what would that make her niece? Meh, I'll worry about that later. I don't know how, but I perfected the art of grasping things with hooves pretty early on during my experiences in this awesome world, so... I still don't understand the fact that I can work a doorknob with a hoof. Seriously can anyone figure out how that works? Equestria's logic will never cease to amaze me. If anything, I was a bit underwhelmed by the insides of Cadence's room. It was small, nothing too fancy, and the walls were coated with a plain, purple wallpaper. I also took note of the fact that there were two glasses resting upon a wooden table near the center of the room filled with what appeared to be fruit punch... I'm in a princess' room, right? Man, I was at least expecting some form of indication that she was related to Celestia, but... what I saw here was no more than an everyday average room that could have been owned by anyone. I took a few steps further into the room... before I was smashed in the face with something hard. All I had managed to see beforehand was a pinkish purple blur. My vision slowly faded as I fell back to the ground.

I blacked out...

A/N: Ok, I would've made this chapter longer... but I'm just a lazy idiot. I also wanted to end on a little cliffhanger. For all you Daniel Ingram fans, I will include a song in the next chapter. You can probably fill in the blanks yourself as to what just happened to TJ. Until then, here's to a summer of fun!  
>~InstantDashie<p> 


	8. Chapter 7: Ain't That a Kick in the Head

Hey guys, sorry you had to wait the entire summer (and possibly even longer) for this next chapter. I stumbled upon a severe case of Writer's Block and couldn't really come up with anything for this chapter. So, to add to the mystery surrounding TJ's newly found Unconsciousness, I decided to wait until the end of the summer to continue writing the story, you know... and get you guys to see if you can truly figure out what's gonna happen. Oh, and to the people who saw me at Bronycon and commemorated me on this fic, and even asked for my autograph, thanks. Nothing makes me more proud of this fic than that, thank you everyone, and enjoy your long-awaited next chapter ;)

~InstantDashie

A Brony's Guide to Equestria

Chapter 7: Ain't That a Kick in the Head

Written by TJ AKA InstantDashie

The only thought that popped into my head as my vision faded back from the black void to the wonderful world of consciousness was a famous pair of words: _Don't Panic_. That's right, I actually read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But, other than that, I had no recollection of any event that had transpired over the last few minutes... or however long I was out for. All I really remember is getting hit in the face with something. I turned my head a bit to the side and spotted a familiar looking door.

"Huh, good news is I'm still in the same room... I think. Bad news..." I began as I attempted to move, only to find myself tangled in ropes in no less than a few seconds, "...is _that_."

I let out a sigh of frustration before noticing that there was a second shadow on the ground besides mine.

"Ahem..."

It took every ounce of willpower I had in my body to force myself to turn around, or at least turn to the extent the ropes would allow me to. I couldn't really process what I saw at first. My gaze met that of what appeared to be a pink and purple Alicorn levitating a frying pan and giving me a death glare. Her vision was locked on me, and she never broke eye contact with me, and I could not blink for some reason but I'm assuming it had something to do with magic, heck, Equestria's already destroyed every bit of logic I know, why should it start being normal now!?

"Uh..." I said, sweat beginning to roll down my face.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!?" the Alicorn screamed in my face using what I recognized as the ever so famous ROYAL CANTERLOCK VOICE, though I'll give it a new name: _The Ear-Bleeder (TM)_. My mane flew back as the waves of sound pulsated and pressed against my face. As soon as the scream stopped, I was suddenly fearing for my life. How do I put this... um... this Alicorn was INSANE!

"Uh... Name's TJ... used to be a human... Celestia said her niece wanted to see me... said this was her room-PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" I shouted, snapping my eyes shut and still shaking in intense fear. I'm not sure if my hearing was affected in anyway by her ear-piercing scream, but I am almost certain I heard her gasp at the sound of my name.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't realize that was you!" she exclaimed, her emotions doing a complete 180. I opened my eyes very slowly, hoping that her now soothing and yet somewhat hypnotic voice was not not just my mind playing tricks on me. Realizing that this was no trick, I let out a sigh of relief.

"It's cool, don't worry, peop-I mean ponies make mistakes all the time. But... uh... I have a question..."

"What is it?"

"Can I be untied now? I can't feel my legs," I said, my face turning a slight shade of crimson.

The Alicorn gave a slight nod, and also slightly blushed, before releasing the ropes with her magic. It took a little while for me to be able to stand up, which I'm sure that pink Alicorn found rather amusing. Upon managing to gain at least a fraction of a sense of balence, a thought popped into my head.

"Hey... uh... you wouldn't happen to be the 'niece' Celestia was telling me about would you?"

The Alicorn's face lit up.

"That would be me, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza... but I prefer to just be called Cadence," she said a huge smile on her face, "And... I'm assuming that my aunt already told you why I wanted to meet you?"

I scratched my head with my hoof, trying to remember the conversation I had with the princess before... all... those... stairs...

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it was something about asking me questions," I finally concluded.

Cadence's grin grew even wider.

"Uh huh!"

"Well, can you answer a question for me first?" I asked, rubbing my head once again (head scratching/rubbing is a habit I have, don't judge me).

"What is it?"

"Why the hay did you knock me out and hogtie me?!"

Cadence's face faded into a blush.

"Oh... sorry about that. WIth the wedding coming up and all... I've been kind of paranoid and high maintenance lately... you're heads not hurting anymore is it?" She asked, wearing a look of complete concern.

"Well, I feel fine right now..." I began to say before noticing something was a bit off.

Cadence's expression wasn't changing. She wasn't moving. Everything was frozen in place, as if time had stopped.

"Cadence?" I called, waving my hoof in front of her face for a solid 5 seconds with no results.

Suddenly, I heard a voice. You know that creepy voice you sometimes hear in horror movies that you just can't get out of your head? I was hearing _that _voice.

"_Oh Tj, So CoNfUsEd... So ObLiViOuS..."_

"Who are you?!" I yelled.

"_I aM bUt A mEsSeNgEr FoR a GrEaTeR pOwEr... ThE rEaL qUeStIoN iS... wHo ArE yOu?"  
><em>

"What kind of a question is that?!"

_"YoU wIlL sOoN lEaRn... AlL iN gOoD tImE..."_

Suddenly a dome of green flames erupted around me, blocking off any hope of escape... though it's not like I had any to begin with.

"WHAT THE?!" I screamed. I tried to jump out, but instead of passing through the fire and getting burnt like a normal organism would, the flames began to push me down. I began to sink through the floor. I kept kicking and struggling, but had no luck. The last thing I saw was a pair of green, glowing eyes before my vision faded to black.

I awoke in what appeared to be some crystalline cavern, the walls of the cavern covered with... well... crystals.

"Hello?" I called out, my voice echoing throughout the cave. My calls were met with the familiar chuckle of a creature I definitely did not plan on meeting today.

I turned my head towards the source of the laugh, which was unfortunately right behind me.

"Discord?!" I began to yell, "b-b-but you... you're supposed to be..."

"Gone? Turned to stone? Dead? Ha! You'd think Celestia would have learned her lesson by now" The creature laughed hysterically.

"Wha... what do you mean, 'learned her lesson by now'? Twilight stopped you! They all stopped you! They used the Elements of Harmony and turned your body to stone!"

"You see, that's the thing... they turned my _body_ to stone. My spirit on the other hand..." Discord explained, pointing to himself, "Free as a bird."

I stared at him in fright and confusion.

"Confused? Allow me to shed some light on the subject..."

Immediately, Discord was floating around me in a similar fashion to his encounter with the mane 6 in hedge maze.

"You see, no matter what, there is always a balance of harmony and chaos in this world. You can petrify the embodiment of the chaos, but the spirit of the chaos, a.k.a. me, shall remain to maintain said balance. However, if a certain entity..." he began pointing at me, "is brought into a plane of existence of which he does not belong, the chaos is amplified, and said entity shall become the harbinger of a new era. The era, of chaos!"

"Yeah, right! I'm supposed to believe that?!" I shouted. Me, harbinger of chaos? Not exactly something I'd wanna put on a college resume. Discord simply continued to laugh maniacally.

"Well, whether you believe it or not is entirely your choice, though it doesn't make it any farther from the truth..."

"SHUT UP!"

Discord's eyes suddenly began to swirl in a hypnotic fashion, his gaze locked on mine. I found myself unable to move, unable to shut my eyes.

_"WhEn YoU fInD tHERe'S nOtHiNg LeFt To HoLd, SoMeTiMeS cHaOs Is ThE wAy To GeT tHe GoLd..."_

I wanted to say no...

I wanted to say no...

I wanted...

A/N: ok, this chapter took WAY too long to write and I apologize. I also apologized for a distinct lack of the song I promised you guys. I couldn't find a place for it. It may appear in future chapters though. Production of each chapter shall probably be months apart now. I have high school to worry about so... Not much writing time... Oooh Discord's back! Harbinger of chaos! What does this mean?! Leave a review with your thoughts.


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